But What If He Feels the Same Way?
by Lenore483
Summary: Hermione struggles with the feelings she has for James, believing he loves Lily. How does he truly feel though? HGJP two shot TT
1. Hermione

**Inspired by the YouTube video by the same name**

 **(Remove spaces)** **youtu . be / DIxRyX-CC1I**

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Part 1

 **Hermione**

It was stupid

She was stupid.

Brightest witch of her age, what a lie that was. She wasn't smart, not when it came to the things that mattered. Ron for all that she teased him about having the emotional range of a teaspoon, was better at it than her. He took his good time figuring stuff out, but when he did it was with his whole being that he felt or stood for something. She was always so unsure, questioning, looking for options, even when she thought her mind had been made up. It was a good thing when it came to academics, it was why she loved it so. You looked up a question, read everything about it, and you knew it to be true. It was so different from her cluttered questioning mind, it calmed her and helped her cope.

But anything outside of books was difficult. Impossible even, for it did not have an answer you could look up or ask a professor about.

The biggest mystery for her now was James Potter. How did she truly feel for him, what did he feel for her?

James Potter was not someone that would just give up on Lily Evans when Hermione dumped into his life out of nowhere.

It was James and Lily, destined forever.

Her mind had been going around and around in circles justifying her crush, and all those little things that might hint that he felt it too. Alternate Dimension she told herself.

Time is fluid.

Matters of the heart don't make sense.

But he was funny like Fred had been, Loyal like Ron, Kind like Harry, flirty like Sirius, unattainable like Lockhart, and persistent like Viktor. Basically, he was all her past crushes melded into one unique person that was so much better than any one of them alone.

He had gotten her over her fear of flying, and not in a romantic way like Victor had promised once, no he pranked her. He had stuck a broom to her butt so she had to fly around until the teachers could figure out what to do with it.

He still teased her about how apologizing for whatever it was she had done to anger him, would help dislodge "the broomstick on her butt." Remus had later disclosed to Hermione that you should never teach James muggle sayings. "stick up your butt." had been uttered one self-deprecating day by her, as she mumbled about what other people had told her she was in the past. James must have overheard, but opted for a different route than sitting down and talking to her about it.

For some reason, when their eyes connected after the broomstick was removed, Hermione didn't see the prankster. She saw the man that had made her stop feeling sorry for herself and laugh at a previous hurtful description of her. She had swallowed her wounded pride, smiled and mouthed thank you, James had looked surprised and blushed.

It was one of those moments that stuck in her analytical mind as being either something she imagined or a sign that he liked her.

To be honest, James pushed her to figure out stuff for herself, but so much faster than she would have on her own. He did the same for everyone she guessed, he was their constant, this wonderful man so put together and perfect who made everyone better because they could be, not because they had to.

He had at one point put a spell on her that limited how much time she could spend with books. After 4 hours outside of classes studying, she would get zapped if she touched quill, book or sat down in the library. It had taken her an awful amount of time to get the spell lifted, and only if she promised to come outside with them and spend an entire day lazying in the sun.

As she laughed with them and enjoyed their carefree attitude, she wondered how Lily had withstood his advances. As her mind pondered this, she looked at James who sent her a playful wink. She had blushed and looked away, trying to pay attention to what the other boys were saying. After a while, she looked back, and he still had that playful smile on his face, looking at her.

But he still stood atop the table in the great hall proclaiming his undying love for Lily, asking her out in classes, saying the amortentia smelled like "Lilies, or maybe just Lily" and winked at the fuming girl.

Hermione had watched the exchange, feeling like a stranger looking in on an intimate memory. She felt like a lovesick fool watching an epic love story unfold. Maybe that certainty he had about his love for Lily was part of the reason she liked him. Always that way, set in the stars, shining for others to be inspired to follow their own heart and be happy.

She had noticed other stuff about him, like how he had a different smile for each of them. Lily was the lovesick fool smile, often accompanied by drool or glassy eyes. Remus was one of admiration and trust like he took everything he said to be the utter truth. Sirius had the same smile towards James as he had towards him. It was one of brotherhood, camaraderie, mischief and protection. Peter had one of a little brother, somebody to tease relentlessly, but no one should dare do the same or they would answer to him. It was one of ease that made Hermione's heart ache when she thought of the future. And then there was the smile he reserved for her. She was too blinded by love to interpret it, but she knew it took over his entire face, his entire body like he lit up in her presence. She would always seek out his eyes when she entered a room, afraid that she might miss that smile. At one point she had realised she couldn't go a day without it.

She had tried to get over him, tried to date other boys. They were all horrendous in one way or another in the end. One boy had told her that "she wasn't worth the hassle."

She had cried that night, hiding on top of the astronomy tower. He had found her there, crying her eyes out, looking like a mess.

She told him everything, and he had said words like "assholes, butt wipes, bastards" and proceeded to use words starting with every other letter in the alphabet, finally ending on "Zeroes" when she finally paused in her crying.

"Why can't they be like you?" she said meekly, and he had smiled at her. That brilliant carefree empathetic smile that she had come to find so dear.

Then she thought, _but what if he feels the same way?_

In that moment which was so unlike her, she had leaned in and kissed him.

His lips were soft, plumper than she thought and he smelled so nice. It didn't last for long, but she felt euphoric like her world was on fire and calm at the same time. She felt safe and loved and so happy like nothing could ever bring her down again.

Then, without ever reciprocating it, James pushed her away. A look of pure shock was on his face.

"Listen, Hermione, I" was all he got out before she ran away from him.

Of course, he didn't feel the same way.

Why would he? She didn't belong here, she didn't belong with him. She was a stranger in this time and to these people. She had so many secrets from them.

But she couldn't hide who she was. The Snotty know it all, Mudblood, party pooper, buzzkill, bore, bossy chit, and all those other things.

Just like the other boys, James would never want her, she just had to resolve herself to become a cat lady.

First, she would have to adopt Crookshanks again, Then she could start collecting more. Honestly, cats were nice company.

A few days later James came up to her, sprouting that look he got when he needed to fess up to something serious.

"About the other night…"

"It's alright James I get it." she smiled up at him, struggling to keep her composure "Not like you haven't made your feelings about Lily clear. It was stupid of me, just a mistake."

"A mistake?" he looked apprehensive, maybe he couldn't believe how easily she had given him an out.

"yes, I was upset. I don't exactly have the best luck with boys. I shouldn't have put that on you I'm sorry."

"Sorry?"

"Yeah, don't worry it won't ever happen again, I promise you." she laughed nervously at her own bad speech.

"It won't?"

"Of course not. You're in love with Lily, and I was upset. I don't want to ruin our friendship."

She stood up and held out her arms awkwardly in a gesture to embrace him "Friends?"

Before he could respond she had hugged him tightly. Hiding her face so he couldn't see how upset she was.

"sure, friends." he said, and her heart was both happy to not have lost him and sad that she could never truly have him.


	2. James

**Thanks to Everyone that has followed or favorited this story. And thanks to my lovely reviewers; Sicarian and daniella2cool and the guest reviewers!**

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Friends?

She didn't want him after all.

This girl that had made him question everything in his entire life breathed new air into it when he didn't know it was needed.

His life had been boring. He loathed to admit to it, but it was predictable.

He tried to make it interesting by choosing interesting friends. A werewolf friend, a friend from the dark Black family, and one that always seemed a bit questionable in his motives and true feelings.

Even they were borderline dull. They did all these adventures together that were fun in the moment but afterwards?

Everyone in the school loved him, even when he did everything wrong, he got away with it.

 _Buhu the rich popular kid is bored._ He scoffed at his own thoughts.

The worst part of it was how he harassed Lily to pay him attention, he just loved all that followed.

Then Hermione came to the school.

She is sitting nearby when they fight with Snape, and Lily interferes and he calls her a Mudblood. Everyone else is frozen in shock, even Snape. But Hermione snorts and says "Mudblood, how original you rancid backwards crazy furry smeg bat." and everyone stared at her instead, while she just casually turned the page.

"It means dirty blood!" Lily cried, outraged that Hermione would cast it aside like that.

She shrugged and answered "at least Gryffindors have enough common sense to clean our clothes or use a scourgify once in a while. I mean " she gestured up and down Snape's person. "his hair looks like it was washed in sewage, and smells like leftover grease that you usually throw away. His skin is so horrid because it can't breathe under that monstrosity. His clothes are too big in all the wrong places, and too tight in others making it uncomfortable to even look his way. It should have been mended and is clearly a Hufflepuff uniform washed with blue to make it green. All of that could have been fixed with spells we took in our O.W.L.s but yet he persist in overwhelming us with all that? I'll take dirty blood over his dirty everything any day."

Sirius had muttered "I'm in love." sometime during her tirade. Snape had turned his fury on her, simmering in anger. Peter had pulled behind Remus who was looking at her like it was the first time they had seen her. James on the other hand looked between the girl he was supposed to be in love with, and this creature.

After that they were friends. Hermione kept trying to avoid it slightly, and sometimes she looked at them like she saw somebody else there. But the Marauders had decided (except for Peter that didn't like her in the slightest) and she was staying.

At first, he had stopped pursuing Lily at all, always flirting slightly with the brunette instead. When she didn't notice that, he started making his declarations to Lily even louder, even more annoying. All in the hope that maybe Hermione would be jealous, would hex him or insult him. Just look at him with that beautiful fire in her eyes.

Then they kissed.

She had run away, he wasn't too surprised at that. Hearing her say that they were friends on the other hand? That hurt like hell.

It had taken a lot of Firewhiskey with Sirius late one night in a hidden passageway before he would admit it to Sirius.

Trying to swallow Firewhiskey at the moment he said it was very wrong timing. Sirius choked and spluttered and coughed before he uttered "Bloody hell mate, I thought you liked Lily!?"

He shook his head, dragging his palm over his eyes and looking down at the bottle in his hands.

"Not for a long time." he sighed. "Remember that day at the lake? When she insulted Snape?" Sirius nodded "I knew then."

"Knew what?"

"That I didn't love Lily." he paused. "I realized I never really did, I just thought that she was better than all the other girls here. None of them compared to Lily." His eyes shone as he looked at his best mate "But Hermione?"

"Hermione is the most perfect woman I have ever met. I can honestly say that even if I searched all over the world I would never find someone as amazing as her. I know that without a doubt I can never love anybody like I love her. She is so brave, so funny, so strong. She makes me a better man, even though she doesn't want to change me. I become a better person around her."

Sirius hiccuped, and they both started laughing. Not long after they fell asleep in the corridor.

James woke up to the smell of cinnamon. He made a noise of contentment before he was hit with the icy water.

"Wake up!" Hermione's slightly angry tone told him. She hit him slightly to get him moving. "We have class in 5 minutes!"

Sirius grumbled next to him, obviously having received the same treatment.

"I could wake up to your lovely face any day," James mumbled, still slightly drunk.

Hermione blushed and looked away.

They managed to get to class, mostly because Hermione sent stinging hexes to keep them moving when they tried to pause or sit down. The scornful looks her way only seemed to make her smile brighter. Classes that day was spent holding their heads, Sirius mumbling about annoying witches while James stared at said annoying witch.

Nothing really changed, but James was more determined than ever to get his witch.

It was only when Remus got involved that things started to turn around for the wizard.

"First off, no more declarations of love towards Lily. In fact, no more flirting with any girls except for her." Remus said sternly, and James shrugged, that didn't seem too hard.

Hermione looked at him funny when several days had gone by and he had refrained from his usual insane speeches about Lily. When a guy asked Lily out, and she loudly said yes, James didn't even turn to look at her. The boys all seemed fine with it, to Hermione's confusion.

"James?"

"Yes Hermione?" he looked up at her and smiled, filling his smile with the love he felt for her.

Her breath caught, and she paused for a bit before she continued "Lily got asked out."

"Yes, she did."

"And she said yes."

"Yeah?"

"It doesn't bother you?"

"Of course not!"

"Why not?"

"I don't love Lily Evans."

He left it hanging in the air, his _I love you._ The Marauders looked between the two, waiting for Hermione to catch on. Instead of her realizing what the pause ment, she just said "oh." and continued eating.

Sirius idea was much simpler than the myriad of advice Remus had given James. He just locked the two lovebirds into a broom closet.

Hermione said a lot of curse words, to James amusement, and then tried to open it. Before she could utter anything besides " _Alohamora_." he stole the wand.

"Give me my wand back."

"No."

"James give it back!"

"No Hermione."

"James Charlus Potter you give me my wand!"

"NO!" the shouting shut her up. "You will stay still, and listen to what I have to say. Or I will cast a _Silencio_ on you." She shut up, but even though they were in the dark he knew she was sending him a very dark glare.

"I like _you_ Hermione." he said after the silence had grown thick around them.

"What?"

"I have for a very long time."

"You- What?"

"I find you infuriating, exciting, funny, annoying, amazing and I can't stop thinking about you."

"I-" She stopped saying anything, unable to voice what she thought, how she thought. James thought it was because she didn't feel the same way, but he couldn't stop now.

"I kissed you because I wanted to. I know the timing was wrong but I hated hurting you."

"Hurting me?"

"Do you know how many men the boys and I have had to run interference with? You are the most desired woman at Hogwarts!"

She scoffed "I hardly think that's true."

He moved closer to her "I don't care."

"You just said-"

"hush"

"I will not shush!"

" _Silencio!"_

' _She must be fuming now'_ James thought.

"There is no other woman in the world for me. Only you." he could hear her heavy breathing, but he wasn't going to stop. "There will never be anybody else, I-" he swallowed, the sound almost echoing in the quiet space.

"I love you."

Hermione was in his arms then, kissing him, ruffling up his hair even more. It took a while before they broke for air, and then Hermione kept shaking his hand with the wand. After about 5 minutes of her huffing, and him pretending he didn't know what she wanted, he finally performed the counter spell.

"I love you too." and then she pounced again. They had already wasted too much time.

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After at least an hour of guarding the broom closet, Sirius couldn't help his curiosity. Unlocking and opening the door, he saw both of his friends pretty messed up, on the floor, Hermione straddling James. Thankfully (or maybe regretfully in Sirius' eyes as Hermione was quite fit) they both still had clothes on.

"Alright, there mate?" Sirius asked, grinning at his best friend.

"Never better," James grinned, and Hermione blushed.

James Potter had finally gotten the girl.


End file.
